Does Muscle REALLY weigh more than fat?

Oh Awwwnald!

Still sober. Despite the urges that hit every once in a while, I am finding I feel so much better without drinking that I’ve extended my 30 day challenge to 90 days and counting. I did try the one week of moderate drinking at the 30 day mark and it was OK, but not great. I am thinking 30-days is not enough time to break a habit that took 30 years to in grain into my heart and mind.

I did my 8-week weigh in for Weight Watchers. Boo hiss. The scale does not show the changes I see and feel when I put on my clothes.

For the first time in years, I purchased a blouse in the single digits. My summer clothes are loose and I bought a few skorts in a medium that I bought in an XL last summer.

People tell me I look different and I feel much better. All that said, it still bothers me that the scale has barely moved. I am 30 lbs heavier than I was before I had my first child 18 years ago. In fact, I weigh the same as I did when I gave birth! That makes me sad.

One thing that coincides with my weight gain is the addition of two prescription medications – an anti-depressant and a blood pressure medication.

I have read on-line that Atenolol and some anti-depressants can cause weight gain BUT I also read on-line that Elvis was still alive and living in Tampa soooooo….

I plan to check with my doctor and see about changing up some meds.

Until then, enjoy the arrival of spring everyone!

(p.s. I’m going to Disneyland tomorrow!!!! At 46, it’s my first time…and my husband’s first time and our kids. We are all very excited! I will post a story about our trip when we return. If you have any tips, let me know!)

Dreaming about drinking?

Does anyone else dream about drinking?

I have been sober for almost 3 months now (minus a one-week trial of moderate drinking) and yet I have been having reoccurring dreams about drinking. In real life, I don’t have any great urge to drink. There are bottles of wine and beer in the fridge and I haven’t been (seriously) tempted. But in my dreams, I get drunk and then I feel horribly guilty or I have one of two and then worry that I will slip and start drinking more. That guilty feeling will sometimes stay with me for a few hours after waking.

On a happy note, I am down 7 pounds in 7 weeks thanks to weight watchers. I am sure not drinking has also played a part. One fake beer=1 point. 1 real beer = 4 points.

Moderation – Great for other people.

Well, my attempt at moderation has failed. It appears that I suck at moderate drinking.

I already know that I am an amazing drinker. I can drink and drink and drink…

I am also very good at not drinking at all. I did wonderfully with my experiment with prohibition. I stopped drinking for 2 months. And I was great at it.

“No wine for me, thanks. I’m not drinking right now.”

“Oh, thanks but I’ll just have water.”

Yup. I’m good at one or the other but not both.

I decided to reintroduce wine to my life last week.

I had a glass of wine before Sunday dinner and very quickly decided to make it two.

Then I skipped a day (I don’t drink two days in a row…that would be wrong) and had a glass of wine. Then two.

Repeat that schedule and we have ourselves a week.

Then my best friend’s father died. I did the good friend thing and drove 5 hours to spend the evening with her at the funeral home before heading back to our hotel for a night of catching up. And a bottle of wine…each. Luckily, it was just the two of us in a hotel room and nobody did anything embarrassing or dangerous. (We googled old boyfriends but luckily had the common sense not to call anyone at 2 in the morning!)

I was so sick the next day. And I had a 5 hour drive ahead of me.

By the time I got home, I was so bagged I crawled into bed and slept for 12 hours straight.

I feel much better today. Not just physically but mentally, as well.

It seems pretty clear that moderation is not going to be a “thing” for me. That makes me a little bit sad but I’m glad I’ve gone through all of this. My body seems to think that drinking alcohol is like drinking poison. It’s been trying to tell me something for a while now and I think it’s about time I listened.

Wish me luck.

Weigh-in #3 – Results! Finally!

Down 5.2 pounds in 3 weeks! Just like WWs promises, I have seen 1-2 lbs per week. Slow but steady. I’m OK with that…so long as the scale keeps moving downward.

As an added bonus, WW is also helping me keep to my semi-sober goal. Did you know each glass of white wine costs you 4 points? I only get 26 points per day. I better really, really want that wine if I’m going to spend 4 points on one puny little 5 oz glass.

Any-hoo, I’ve also pushed the exercise envelope by adding exercise with friends to the mix. I have two girlfriends who power walk and at least one of us has motivation most days. I added in an extra power yoga class on Sundays and my body loves/hates it. If you don’t like traditional bouncy-teenage-girl type aerobics classes, try yoga.

Now, to be clear, I am not on the WW payroll, but I do find it’s one of the few programs that has ever worked to give me slow but steady weight loss. I think it’s because it understands that we all need treats every once in a while. In my case, it’s every day. If I don’t have some sort of a treat every day, I feel deprived and then I overindulge and then we end up where we are today – 20 lbs overweight. (oops – I can say 15 lbs now. Hooray!)

With WW on-line, I can enter the nutritional info from whatever it is I want to eat and find out the points value. Then I can decide it’s worth it. For example: one serving of Cadbury mini-eggs is only 18 little bitty eggs and it’s 6 points!!! And yet I love them so much, I have had a serving everyday for the past 3 days. And I don’t regret it. And the scale has still moved down.

The first drink towards responsible drinking: Cheers!

After seven weeks of sobriety, I decided it was time to re-introduce wine to my diet. This is 3 weeks longer than my therapist thought I needed but I wanted to have my first glass when I “wanted” it, not when I “needed” it. My goal has always been to drink moderately…which I generally do…except when I don’t. I’ve told my friends that it’s not that I don’t ever want to drink again, it’s that I don’t want to be drunk again. That girl is gone. At 46 it’s just not pretty anymore.

I chose a quiet Sunday night at home with the family to see how it goes. So far so good.

The wine doesn’t taste as amazing as I imagined it would. When I was watching everyone else drink over the past few months, I always imagined it would be so nice if I could just have a glass. When I finally did tonight, it was lovely but not A-maze-ing!

One thing that should keep me on track is the fact that one glass of wine = 4 Weight Watchers points. I’m trying to lose 20 lbs through WW on-line. I’ve been really good with the points and the exercise, so I don’t want to blow it by drinking a day of points. I did 75 min. of pretty strenuous yoga today and I wouldn’t want to drink away that benefit. (For anyone who is snickering about the phrase “strenuous yoga”…you haven’t been to my yoga class.)

Any-hoo, I am loving this Sunday evening, listening to the radio, drinking my glass of wine and kicking back.

Life is good today. Here’s to many more.

Cheers!

Weigh in – Week 2: ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME???

What?!!! Up a pound and a half???

I am so disappointed. I’ve worked out and been meticulous about my points.

I shouldn’t be surprised though. This often happens to me with WW. My first week is usually good (3.5 pounds last week) and then I crash the next week…even though I do the same things. It’s like my body is fighting me. I usually turn it around by week 3 and have slow but steady progress of a pound or so a week. It sucks getting old. It’s so much harder to lose the weight.

On a positive note, I’m now six weeks sober. We even had a party here at the house and people were boozin’ it up but I resisted. It helped that two of my friends are non-drinkers and another has decided to follow my lead and ease up on alcohol. It was much easier than I expected.

Any, hoo. I shall stay the course and celebrate the positive. My tummy is flatter and I feel thinner.

Now, I must run and pick up the pieces of my scale from their scattered spots on the lawn.

Weigh-in #1

I lost 3.6 pounds!

http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/

Day 31 – Learning eat, drink, and live responsibly

Puppies make me smile.

My 30-days-to-semi-sober challenge is officially over.

But instead of quitting and having a big ol’ drink to celebrate, I’m keeping it going AND I’m adding on the new goal of dropping 20 lbs.

I have been exercising a lot lately but it doesn’t seem to make any difference on the scale. So, I’ve joined Weight Watchers on-line for three months to see if that will do it.

It’s no fun getting old (46). When I was a teenager, I was a skinny thing. I could eat (and drink) anything and not gain weight. It made me cocky. I thought I was invincible.

Then I moved into residence at university and started eating cafeteria food.

I gained 15 lbs. in 6 weeks. When I finally came home after the 6 weeks, my mother literally gasped. She thought I was sick. I was puffed out like the Pillsbury Dough Girl. It didn’t help that I was combining greasy cafeteria food with copious amounts of alcohol.

Sooooo, flash-forward 28 years and I realize I was doing the exact same things.

Time to teach an old dog new tricks.

wish me luck!!!

Day 29 – One.more.day.

Welcome back to Weight Watchers, baby.

I’m almost there…one more day!

But I’m not planning on drinking anytime soon. I love how I am feeling – healthier and happier with myself. Truth be told, I’m also scared that I’m not ready for moderate drinking just yet. I think I need a bit more time to break the bad habits and establish healthy new ones.

I also just joined Weight Watchers on-line. I only have about 20 lbs to lose but I’ve been trying to do it on my own for a few years now and nothing seems to work. I did WW both times after my children were born and it worked like a charm. I clicked on the 90-day deal, so I guess my new challenge will be: 20 pounds in 90 days (or less).

Thanks to everyone who has been encouraging me! It makes a difference.